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| Sender :
busenitz || City
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ktm || Country :
nepal || Date :
2011-12-27 10:32:34 |
| Message :
Any update on your side? |
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| Sender :
Busenitz || City
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Kathmandu || Country :
Nepal || Date :
2011-12-18 10:13:37 |
| Message :
Thanks for your reply. You said you have been having that pain for 2 years? What kind of pain is that? You got a nice family and you said your husband is a good man too. You have to go to the root of the problem between you guys. What made a good man a bad husband? This sounds fishy to me. Did he find out any thing about you or did u do something ? I am not trying to blame you but when you know he is good with all but you then ask your self "Why is that?" Marriage is a compromise between what you desire and what you can get so be pragmatic. You don't know how important it is until you loose it and by the time you realize,its too late. Good Luck!! |
Reply From Writer:
I think you might be right, But there is nothing fishy. Have you ever find the situation, where you dont feel connected with some person who is nice to others, and really a nice person.
I really Appreciate you from my heart for your suggestions. Thanks Again! |
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| Sender :
JANTARE1 || City
:
DC || Country :
USA || Date :
2011-12-18 07:44:42 |
Message :
3 things i drew from her post:
- the guy is nice
- so is she
- guy's family treats her well
what the hell is their problem? i'm pretty sure the problem is not financial (since they are professionals). neither it is a family issue because the guys family loves her as their daughter. she just says, "problem is he is not good to me because now we both know, we are not made for each other." what does that mean? is it just because they fight all the time in redundant issues regardless of their good life? or is it because they can't sexually satisfy each other? another theory is that the lady is in an affair with another male or vice verca. she needs to be more clear.
the whole concept of "made for each other" is just a myth. you will not find anyone who is already perfect for you. you make necessary compromises and perfect each other. i'd like to ask that lady a question: what are the odds that you'll find someone else that supposedly is "made for you"? none! you might divorce your husband to find a better partner but there's no guarantee that you'll find a better one.
key: it all depends on what you want. if you are not happy with each other, there is no point in maintaining a fake relationship. but think and prepare well for both short term and long term consequences before you pull the trigger.
Re posted By astitwa Team from sajha |
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| Sender :
Unlucky || City
:
Houston || Country :
USA || Date :
2011-12-18 07:00:48 |
| Message :
Dear Name Withheld,
I don't know why I just couldn't able to stop myself from coming over here from another website and comment on your issue.
Three years of time of being together doesn't seem that much but its not the days or years that counts , its just few shared moments that we all adore in our whole life. Agreed that you might not have any of those however it is also possible that you just don't value or don’t want to value those moments you shared with your husband and his family. I remember feeding a street dog in a shop each time I visit that shop and on the last day before coming here I said “I am going who will feed you now “ and trust me for the first time I pet him and feel a connection that I made with him. As a human, all of us would attach ourselves to things that even don’t have any relationship. You might not value the relationship you have now, but trust me your husband and his family might have already attached to this and they would definitely suffer after this. As you said they are nice to you which basically points out the fact that they already accepted you as a PART of their family.
If there is a physical violence or cheating or any kind of unethical behavior that woman doesn’t deserve involved then I will say you need a divorce. Other than that think carefully and precisouly before taking any actions. Please don’t get me wrong here, I am not trying to convey the message that one should always compromise in their life. One should not however there is will be always something that one has to leave. Its not just you, me or somebody else its EVERYONE. Sometimes it is for husband, for wife, for children, for work, for boss, for society and the list goes on. No one’s life and their relationship is perfect and no one should look for it because it is not and will never be. No matter whom you are, where you are, what you do ; all of us have to compromise a little bit. But that doesn’t mean that our life get miserable. We can always make our life better being nice to ourselves, to others and to the earth.
You mentioned somewhere about the “pain” but I just don’t know what kind and why? Is it just the personal interests? Well, if it is then there is a simple and easy solution: “TALK WITH YOUR HUSBAND”. You have to talk. Just don’t sit over there and assume that your husband will know or has to know everything that you don’t talk about. He will not and actually no one will. So just talk to him first and he will understand as it seems to me that he wants to keep the relationship. Tell him about your likes and dislikes and also listen to his too. You might not like some of his interests and so does he too, but as I said there is no such thing called perfect match in this world. There is no guarantee that you will run into someone who will perfectly match your likes dislike and personal preferences. As a human all of us have different variations.
If both of you are not happy with each other, as I said (talk to your husband first) then there is no argument. Go ahead and file for a divorce. But if he wants to keep the relationship give a chance to your husband and to yourself as well. And remember
APPRECIATE YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE NOW. DON’T REGRET WHAT YOU HAD IN THE PAST .
AND THE FUTURE; WELL THE ONLY CERTAINTITY IN LIFE IS THE UNCERTAINTY.
My best wishes for both of you.
(I wrote you based on the scenario you provided. Please feel free to elaborate more of your situation if you like) |
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Reply From Writer:
I will work on it, Thanks for your suggestions |
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| Sender :
Busenitz || City
:
KTM || Country :
Nepal || Date :
2011-12-17 22:07:57 |
| Message :
I am sorry for what you have been going through. No body wants their life to be miserable but you have to ask your self " Am I doing enough to make this relationship work better?" You dont always get what you want in life. You have to fight for it and sometime you get something else than what you initially wanted. My sincere advice for you: Think about "Divorce" only as you last shot. Go and talk to your husband, even your in-laws and your family. Don't scared and let them know if you hadnt cared about the relationship with that man you wouldnot have tried to hard.
It's your life and it's your decisions but think about this " Life is not a transaction, when you feel like you dont like the stuff you had, you go back and ask for refund and hope you will find better in another store. "
Good Luck!! |
Reply From Writer:
Hi, its my 3rd year of marriage and trying my best to get everything right. I am living happy for my in-laws. They also love me as daughter and i respect them as my own parents. I really dont want to hurt them..but pain in heart is killing me from inside..
I am really happy to see support and suggestion for you all. Never thought I will be able to share this with anyone. Thanks you! |
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| Sender :
BITTERTRUTH || City
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california || Country :
USA || Date :
2011-12-17 17:57:28 |
Message :
astitwa team, I terribly feel sorry for that man. I don't see any wrong with what this woman is demanding either. They don't have anything like arguments or fights going on so far, thus the relationship is there but it's just the spice of life which is missing. The woman is terrified because what if she has to live life with no taste, the very essense of life. She's admitting they're nice, she's even admitting her husband is nice but the core issue is she just needs divorse. We all know what does this mean right?
I think she'll hurt that man more if she starts to discuss this issue more in front of others. Then again, she can't do much if her husband is not working with her. And, if the man is holding her for his own reasons, he should let her go. If he doesn't let her go, he'll be responsible for all the shame and humiliations that will be brought in.
This lady should calmly handle the situation and talk to her husband and discuss about divorce. |
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Reply From Writer:
THanks you BitterTruth, for your understanding. Just wanted to let you know its not something any of us lacking. its like we are not made for each other but for trapped in so called marriage. He is saying no for divorce as he is afraid of his family, he don't want to hurt them. Unable to decide what to do. But thanks a lot for understanding my situation. |
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| Sender :
BITTERTRUTH || City
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california || Country :
USA || Date :
2011-12-17 17:56:23 |
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the very concept of 'try before you buy' applies here.. |
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| Sender :
Pawan || City
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Grand Rapids || Country :
US || Date :
2011-12-17 14:52:08 |
| Message :
I would strongly suggest that you get divorced. If you are not happy and are sure that you will never be happy with the person, there is no point in sticking with him. We only live once..live to the fullest! |
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| Sender :
Suman || City
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new work || Country :
USA || Date :
2011-12-17 14:18:25 |
| Message :
Getting Divorce is not so easy in Nepal. lots of legal process is there. have to prove her husband impotent to get divorced. Or she need to file a case for harassment. Otherwise she cant just get Divorce just because she is not happy with someone. |
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| Sender :
Rahul || City
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New York || Country :
USA || Date :
2011-12-17 14:08:46 |
| Message :
Get divorced as soon as possible and open the way for both of you. |
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Reply From Writer:
I wish, its so easy here in nepal! thanks for your suggestion! |
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| Sender :
rosy || City
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Boston || Country :
USA || Date :
2011-12-17 14:00:08 |
| Message :
I think you should get divorced!! |
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| Sender :
Muna || City
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kathmandu || Country :
nepal || Date :
2011-12-17 07:29:46 |
| Message :
life is your not others so we have right to live happily.plz live happily not with depression. |
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Reply From Writer:
Thanks Muna! |
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