A bright sunny day plants and trees breeding fresh new flowers and greenery all around. It was a month of August, with fresh mood and zeal to do something and get adapted in a new environment and friend circle. It all started the very first day of my adaptation among these new friends and surroundings. But, life is an unpredictable journey. This journey is really mixture of pain and sorrow, ups and downs and a bit of happiness. During this journey we meet so many people and remembering very few in our heart, though want to remember all. They come to our life, awakening new understanding with passing of whisper, they move our soul to dance, make our sky more beautiful to gaze upon and leave the footprints in our heart that cannot be erased. These people are friends and the tied knot is friendship.

I feel just like yesterday that we became friends and began our journey towards a new journey of togetherness, sharing and caring holding the hands together. We knew each other so closely that we had understood and felt each other completely without any conversation “Silence is Golden” . It was like, we were only made for each other and we were glad to have this belongingness as a very best friend. We were love, courage and hope .

Obviously we three Sag, Suz and me were and are still the best friends ever made so far. We were praised for our friendship by everyone who knows us from college to home.

It all started since the very first day of our college. I felt I was completely lost in their friendship. The kind of good feelings of this happening began to rule my entire humane. Till now, I feel very happy at their happiness and sad whenever sadness falls around. During those college days the greatest thing we shared to each other was love and affection. Although sometimes we had major misunderstanding but realization of each others importance was the greatest knot to tie our friendship stronger more. We were greatest herbs for each others pain and sorrow. The best quality of our friendship was mutual understanding, tolerance, willingness to forgive and be together.

As the year passed by, this relationship went deeper and deeper with full zeal. We shared almost all our joys and happiness and wonderful times which, never happened before. I find myself as a gateway and guidance for them, they seems so much reliant on me. During our 5 th semester third year of college we were on a tour to India . It was the first time they ever were leaving their soil, family and home. There was a worry in their face and sadness as we stepped in Indian soil because they were missing their family for the very first time.

But later on, they realized my presence “Home away from home” . Presence to guide, love and care as their family could do. Soon it turned to a wonderful moment and we enjoyed a lot. We were much attached that sometimes our relationship was misspelled because of friendship between two gals and me. These bought some misunderstanding between me and other friends. But I knew deep inside my heart, I had to love and care them like no one else because the moment will soon pass away and will never come back again, “We die for once and for such a long time” an old saying.

Now my life has been so much limited. There isn't anyone besides them to think about. Our study is over and we are diverged but the love we had has gone deeper and stronger like never else before. We have been the rudiments for each other even though we are not together. We were so much convinced about the morality of our beautiful relationship that we never ever thought that a day would come which, will not let us to be there for each other. I want them beside me all the time to heal me which now seems almost impossible. But still God has been bit helpful towards me that Suz is still together for further studies and Sag waiting to study MBA next session. I feel I am really missing her a lot and am incomplete without her. It's been a very difficult part to meet and share some moments with her because she is staying long way from Kathmandu . And also as far as I am concerned it's due to her conventional family environment.

Apparently now the time has come to decide what I shall do? Although I feel there are so many difficulties to do so. There are more options too. I am worried if I do hurt them before making any decision but it's sure that I have to follow only single route if I have to reach my destiny. I sometimes feel I have lost my way and wonder where do I lie. I am totally confused about my safe landing. There's always a big question mark in my mind, am I making the right move?

Time is never ever the same, it won't let me, to repeat those moments full of fun, frolic and what not, what shall I do? And if I ask you

What would you do if every time you want someone but you have to say goodbye?

What would you do if every time you want them, they would never be there for you?

What would you do if you want them by your side, you couldn't have them?

How could I get these answers?

There's always a big question revolving round my mind. Do I have to depend upon god? But it's sure I can't live myself as I am only half without my friendship.